Jomul7

trying to learn to say ah to things. trying to learn how to spell my name. For now, I'm just another wordsmith.
None of these images are my own.

Ask and you shall receive
Submit and surrender!

At work, I don’t exist. I am a badge with arms and legs that gets called here and there. Sometimes the customer ventures into my personal bubble:

“Who are you?”

“Where are you from?”

so I wear my business smile and answers business like the land that birthed me and whether they are satisfied or not, I move on with the next task while their minds try to wrap themselves around the concept that just left them. Some remain puzzled and can’t reconcile “Africa” (yes, sometimes that’s all they need/want to know and yes sometimes that’s all I want/need them to know) with the person standing in front of them and every time I service them, their faces have questions their mouths don’t dare to ask.

“Who are you?”

“Where are you from?”

my job requires that I violate their personal spaces every time so in exchange, I disclose with open heart a few things about me. I know that I am not a number, a statistic, an image, a name because I don’t know where I start or end even if every second of my life could be recorded from birth to death.

I don’t like and like my job. The protocol and the surface have allowed me to observe literally at close hand race relations and the lies and truths of the human body and how much we just don’t know and that’s okay too.

At work, I exist because I choose to perform every gesture and leave it open to be accepted or rejected.

Posted at 11:28pm and tagged with: prose, personal, existence, etre, vivre, jobs, performance, labor, identity, life, origin,.

I really can’t escape myself

I mean I walk through the same path every day

even when I change shoes, clothes, haircut, cars

I always end up on the same path

I feel programmed to speak, act as I always have

sometimes the sun rises inside me

and for a moment, I escape the circle

I run free

defying gravity and I enjoy the lack of purpose

but it’s a dream

I always wake up in the circle

my hands, my feet and my mouth doing the work for me

no matter how loud I protest

I can’t escape myself

Posted at 2:40am and tagged with: spilled ink, poetry, personal, identity, life, modernity,.

There are doors and windows within oneself that one has never opened for fear of the smell, the corpses, the deaths that have taken place there. And everytime I wake up, I walk quickly past those doors, blocking my ears from hearing any growl or inhuman scream coming from there. Anyways the rest of the house enjoys light, laughter, love and peace, why would I awaken the  dormant volcano?

But the God above has heard the outcry from the land begging to be cleansed by blood and fire so here I stand, my hands on the handle, feeling eternity pass by, ready to open what was closed even it means the death of me.

Posted at 4:24am and tagged with: prose, creative writing, personal, identity,.

fearandhope:

The Line… I’m still staring at it.

I have had a lot of these moments they show in movies where the protagonist cross a door, a wall, a window and finds himself in a different place except that it is me who gets transformed by the crossing as if I just left behind the role I was playing to embrace the new role and this applies to everywhere:School, work, friend’s house, I put on my best smile and my best foot forward into the role I’m given… 

Posted at 12:22am and tagged with: identity, crossing, other worlds, roles, society, living, photography,.

fearandhope:


The Line… I’m still staring at it.


I have had a lot of these moments they show in movies where the protagonist cross a door, a wall, a window and finds himself in a different place except that it is me who gets transformed by the crossing as if I just left behind the role I was playing to embrace the new role and this applies to everywhere:School, work, friend’s house, I put on my best smile and my best foot forward into the role I’m given… 

I have been scratching my back a lot lately

Any kitchen tool has been useful to that end

Spoon, fork, knife, spatula,

if it has teeth or some curve, it’s mine

I would lie on my stomach like when I was a baby

And bake my back under the sun.

I was less and less myself as the days went on

I saw myself on the mirror only to ask

Who was the man staring at me from the mirror

I didn’t like him at all

Shooting him down with verbal bullets

Projecting out of my fiery soul.

My back had grown in volume

I was given the back muscles of a hunchback

But I’d rather die before you see me

hanging by my limbs above Notre Dame

more than muscles, two corns were visible too

and all this time, I thank God for the suga mama

who paid the bills and looked the other way

monsters get mother’s love too.

On the 36th week, my metamorphosis was finalized

I had the wings of a feathered dinosaur

Dragging by my feet as I walked around my apartment

I was hairy enough to compete with the boogie man for the most hairy monster

And yet I have never felt so much as myself at that time.

This is the story of how I became a celebrity/ rat lab/ human phenomenon

I still had the best  manners at table or when invited

I would indulge in pipe smoking once in awhile

When I didn’t skydrop those who rubbed me the wrong way

So next time you see me walking or flying by

Wave and smile.

Posted at 2:54pm and tagged with: celebrity, identity, monster, personal, poetry, spilled ink, rejectscorner,.

Leave me be?


Don’t ask me where I am going

because there’s nowhere to go

I am the monster freed from its cage

who takes the world for its stage

and refuses to be held hostage

by culture, glory or age

I am the face you love to despise

for its color or its size

for one truth and two lies

you refuse me human ties

to be or not to be who cares

when all I want is to leave me be?

Words are futile when the sword is your friend

when the gun goes off and you see your end

no love to give, no heart to mend

alone I leave, no pain no gain

Don’t ask me where I am going because there’s nowhere to go

I always keep my heart in the closet

to scare all the grown up who come to collect

they ask what’s your name?

as if we are the same

but I am in a good mood

so first indulge me with some food

but I don’t kiss and tell

to alien people who smell

go buy and tell

 Take you picks: heads or tails

there’s no first if there’s no last

don’t ask where I am going

because there’s nowhere to go

Posted at 1:58pm and tagged with: identity, poem, song, spilled ink, poetry,.

fearandhope:

“Kara” by Quantic Dream (Animated short)

Story of an android named Kara who is just a little different.

OMFG… this is the shit!!!!!!!!!!

Posted at 6:26pm and tagged with: android, robots, emotional life, being, identity,.

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Half of a Yellow Sun (via tooroughfingersoftheworld)

One of my all-time favourite quotes from one of my all-time favourite books from one of my all-time favourite authors.

(via cijithegeek)

wow…

(via siemprevivalavida)

deeeeeep as hell!

(via mujerdorada)

this is exactly what I was discussing with some friends yesterday, I have hard time understanding already what it means to be Congolese but I get branded as African wherever I go as if I could represent 54 countries!!

Then again being outside of the continent taught me to appreciate other “Africans”.

Posted at 10:33pm and tagged with: identity, being african, congolese, Chimamanda Ngozi,.

… My point is that the only authentic identity for the African is the tribe. I am Nigerian because a white man created Nigeria and gave me that identity. I am black because the white man constructed black to be as different as possible from his white. But I was Igbo before the white man came.

Sylvia Plath (via incorrectsylviaplathquotes)

I know the feeling…

Posted at 11:42am and tagged with: sylvia plath, quotes, identity, language,.

I don’t want to be human! I want to see gamma rays! I want to hear X-rays! And I want to - I want to smell dark matter! Do you see the absurdity of what I am? I can’t even express these things properly because I have to - I have to conceptualize complex ideas in this stupid limiting spoken language! But I know I want to reach out with something other than these prehensile paws! And feel the wind of a supernova flowing over me! I’m a machine! And I can know much more! I can experience so much more. But I’m trapped in this absurd body!